The Story Behind The Anti-Bullying Project
by Mary Helen Rossi
Since I believed that who I was was NOT okay, I became someone else.
Like so many young people who are bullied, I earned my authority about bullying the hard way: I lived it. Suffice it to say that it created trauma that went deep, and almost completely derailed me.
Here’s my true story:
As 5th grade began, I was enrolled in a new school known for its academic excellence. I’d tested in, so I must have been smart enough, and by the looks of photos I was happy. But the class bullies descended on me just days after I started and it wasn’t long before the their words had beaten the spunk right out of me.
Believing my tormenters – that who I was was absolutely not okay – I set about creating a new persona by asking everyone, in one way or another, “who do you want me to be?” As you can imagine, that got me into a whole lot of trouble, and trauma compounded.
Bullying and Trauma
By my late 30s I was angry, rebellious, depressed, and seriously considering suicide (which is not unusual for anyone who’s been bullied). I later learned that trauma had essentially sliced a schism between the left and right hemispheres of my brain. While bullying wasn’t the only trauma in my life, it was definitely the significant first … and it all began with bullying.
No one understood trauma back then, but it’s clear to most of us now that bullying can create it. That’s not a small thing: there are studies galore about how trauma impacts children throughout their lives. That’s because if trauma isn’t healed, it compounds.
According to NAPAB, bullying is an epidemic in our schools. Here’s a telling statistic: over 3,000,000 children stay home at least one day per month due to bullying. Ask anyone who has endured bullying, and they’ll tell you that that statistic is just the tip of the iceberg.
Repairing the Damage
When I was 38 I married a man with the wisdom and patience to help me learn about the strength that was already mine. He playfully described it as my “magic heart,” and that worked for me. Through decades of work, I healed. In the process I developed a practical, hands-on method for anyone wishing to do the same. My mission is to offer this method to young people so they are able to develop and grow with healthy identities.
I’ve written Bullies, Blaze, and Bravery and speak to young people to share what I now know: our heart is our superpower. Call it clichéd, trite, or corny, but I know that if we join forces with our heart, we can deal with whatever life throws our way. Our heart will even heal us, if that’s what we need.
Your Magic Heart is the Key to Happiness
Young people can bypass a lot of suffering if they learn to trust their heart early on.
The method I developed is a simple, practical, hands-on way to access our inner strength. Bullies, Blaze, and Bravery is the first book in The Magic Heart Series to communicate that method. I am also available to speak at middle school assemblies and Professional Development sessions.
My Philosophy in a Nutshell
Our resilience and inner knowing reside within us. I like to place it in the heart.
Bullying and other traumas shut us down, causing anxiety and depression. But when we learn to stay with our heart like we naturally did when we were young, we empower it to dissolve our trauma.
In the process, we find our innate strength and happiness.
To me, that’s magic.
Contact me to learn more.